This is the end.

Finally i am calm enough to write this.

Like a movie, we started in the most dramatic, unexpected and somehow ridiculous way, admiring each other’s superficial characteristics, amazed at the similar thoughts of life…

.. and ALSO ended, in the most abrupt way, you can ever imagine.

Like a roller coaster.

How do we describe this journey. Official? Unofficial? I think the most appropriate word, would be 'complicated’. Some people claimed that, there is no such bullshit as complicated, it is either yes, or no. There is. There is this greyzone, whereby you were too confused to carry on, yet too painful to put a fullstop.

We jumped into this maze at the intersection point, spending time looking for the best way out. Everyday we lived in bittersweet condition, with bitter come before sweet. Everyday we are challenged with doubts, distance, time, small quarrels, sudden disappearance, mood, etc.

And most of all, reality.

We are not beaten down by distance, but reality.

God knows why i still have the strength to carry on and believe, on the tiniest opportunity and hope, that one day we might be, one of the successful examples uttered by others in amazement. And you obviously think that the cruel reality should come before my unrealistic imaginations.

Busy? Not in the right mood? There are just, sorry to say, excuses. No one can be free and be in the right mood for 24/7. When there’s a will, there’s a way. Heart make everything works, even in the most unbelievable way.

Looking at our passion burn, slowly extinguish, and finally turn into ashes. Covered with disappointments and painful remarks.

Everytime when i pick up small fights as i am unsatisfied with anything, i would be the one apologizing instead. I hate myself for being emotional, for being not understanding, etc. I blame myself, when i try to put blames on you.

What most saddening was, when one day, you don’t even have the energy to solve problems anymore. You are all exhausted to start a discussion. All you want to do, is to leave all these mess behind, turn around and and leave this maze,

without a proper goodbye.

feeling so empty, so numb. Though there are thousands of tiny thorns poking you from the back.

You thought you were okay. You thought you were tough. You though the duration was short enough to leave no scar. And the idiotic tears still decide to stream down uncontrollably down your cheeks, when you talk about this with your intimates.

Major hate.

Sometimes i am reluctant to share the whole story with some of my closest companions. It can be very lazy to repeat the whole story, with all the important details and essence so that people won’t jump into conclusion with their superficial imaginations. It’s silly that i still want to defend you when their try to place blames on you. I guess there was not right or wrong in this.

We are tired, we lose faith.

Not sure if i still have faith in looking for someone like you in the future.

We are grateful we existed. Grateful that, the imaginary person you wanted all along, do exist, anyway.

We knew, from the beginning, that this day would come. Sooner or later, it would. 长痛,不如短痛。

"New beginnings are often disguised as painful endings". Do they?


Goodbye, my summer love.


….and i miss how we used to share stories till 4a.m., and all the teasing. :’)