Expect the Unexpected.

Life is kinda.. shocking. LOL. Don’t worry i’m not diagnosed with cancer, neither do i just knocked into a car and lost my limbs #TOUCHWOODTOTHEMAX. Just simply surprised by some people in my life. Surprised, by certain traits which is not expected to be found in that individual. Emm.. actually, i do. Sometimes the traits are symptomatic but we tend to regard it as asymptomatic and when it is stimulated to emerge, it scares you.

And it makes you think that, there is nothing certain in life. People will change, people will reveal his or her nature, people will start putting up mask, etc. Ugly truth sets in, trust among people became fragile, doubts develops insidiously. Yet no man is flawless, no man fits yourself perfectly like the enzyme-substrate complex. We start guarding up, we start being paranoid, but we can’t avoid people entirely just because of the tiny flaws – to err is human, who make no mistakes? Just because you discovered a single bad side, doesn’t mean you can ignore all the good things people have done to you. All the happiness people have gave to you, all the trust, care, encouragement, support and endurance people have hauled to you. You ain’t perfect, so who are you to judge people.

Everyone have the tendency to be called “weird”. For example, I’m weird. I do. I admit i do. People see me as a optimist person, laughing all days as i want. When i’m actually a pessimist. To some quite serious extend, actually. I can emo for hours if i don’t have a good day in labs. I gan-cheong when i’m too far away behind the others. I amplify small heartache-inducing things and replay it in mind in the silent night. People thinks i’m sensitive, too emotional, or simply a siao char bor with mood swing, perhaps? Yes, i can’t lie. What i feel is what i show, on my face, on my Facebook status, or more on my Twitter updates, and even here. I don’t hide feelings, i’m expressive. Which, in the normal society, is not a good thing. Because you torture individuals in your surrounding to bear with your oscillating temper.

You are frank, you are sincere, but people view it differently. Others, they might be a liar, they might create stories and you just absorb everything blankly because you are so naive and thought everyone is as sincere as you do. You are disappointed when you discovered it, but you cant just let these precious people to go from your life. You can’t afford this, they don’t deserve this punishment from you.

You seems sociable. Noisy and talkative. Hyper and bubbly. And deep inside no one knew how much you are feared of being a loner. The feeling of lonely. It was not people's fault – people have their own life, no one can fulfil all your psychology needs for 24/7. They have their own friends, family, partners, studies, works, etc. You miss the older days when you feel more companioned. Yes, companion, that’s what you need. Simply, a person to accompany. How much are you lack of security? When night comes and thoughts are settled down, the emotional devils comes in. You are certainly not easily understood.

You, oh not you. Me.

Am weird and i know it.

 

P/s: Life is unpredictable. Like seriously! The next thing you realised, things that did not came across your mind before, just pop up on this second. Jaw-dropping indeed.

P/s/s: I thought you were better person. You, and you. Prove me wrong.

P/s/s/s: INI BUKAN EMO POST LORH OKAY. Don’t say i emo emo again. 人有时会特别感性和感慨。Kinda long didnt write things which is so…..psychological lolololololol

Comments

  1. hey yi ting !!! like how you express yourself here.keep it up!

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  2. yiting, how can i disagree with your blog when I myself can't see myself through sometimes and yes, people around you act unexpectedly even when u trust them and kinda believe they will know how hard you must have felt and yet, blame it on you...yiting, stay optimistic as you have always been !!! miss u sis.

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  3. Exactly. But well, this is life. Aiks. I really really miss you lar, didnt see you for months already since 那些年~ ToT

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