Break my promise. =(

So, yea, i break my own promise. I said I'm not gonna update this blog anymore for this month, yet here i am, sitting in front of the comp, blogging. Damn.

I'm seriously confused now. Am i prepared or unprepared? Can you believe that I've been spending the whole Sunday (Ok larh, minus off my shopping time from 4pm-8pm) to STUDY model essays book?

Yea, you didn't read it wrongly. I was spending almost my whole day, study Model Karangan Bahasa Melayu and English Model Essay.

I think most of you don't need this, especially for those that has superb English (i mean it. SUPERB). When everyone was studying History, i was studying such books, and getting frustrated coz' of them. What the hell?

I had finish revising my science subjects, or even History (Ok larh, finished but couldn't recall the facts. I am just trying to make myself feel better). I should be damn confident now, right? But i feel so damn unprepared. Why?

I have been telling myself that "This is your final. After this exam, you can just throw all the books as far as possible. Shoo them off." So, i want to do my best. "My best" as in complete every single thing that can be done. I want to finish reading all the essays in the books, i want to attempt ALL the questions from ALL the exercise books that I've brought. i want to left no stone unturned. Really.

This thought is so crazy. More than one of my friends have been telling me "If i were you, i would just goyang kaki for now". I wish i could. Actually i could, for this Sunday. Is not like if i didn't read those model essays, or if i didn't try the questions in my exercise books, I'll FAIL.

But why? Why do i feel so frustrated now?

I hope i can just stop being so hard to myself. I know almost everyone has high hopes on me. But I am the one who has been placing the heaviest burden on my own shoulder all this while.


Fine. I just have to fall into the slumber land now, and prepare myself for the revision awaiting me tomorrow. (I can see Mr.Sejarah waving at me now, with that menacing smile carved on its face. LOL)

Signing off.